"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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