You smell like stripper and shame
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
