So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
