Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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