So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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