I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
