Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
