Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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