I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
