I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
