I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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