My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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