Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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