This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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