Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
two words...techno handjob
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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