Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
