Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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