last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
