Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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