According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
