He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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