I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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