I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
wow bdsm is so cute
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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