i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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