I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
