so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
