on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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