How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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