Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was born a porn star she said
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
