i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
how drunk are you?
Several
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
