I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
