Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
