You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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