He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize