Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
