I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
