I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
