we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
a search helicopter?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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