it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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