What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Houston, we have a blender
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
