Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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