a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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