what day is it and did you see me today?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
