I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
