There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
