I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
