READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
They took my balls.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
