dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
