saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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