You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
