He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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