i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
