She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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