Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just pee around me
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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