And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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